A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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what do i refer too White people = Business Yellow People = Smart Black People = Drug Smugglers, Terrorists, Rapists etc

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

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A black man, a mexican man, and a caucasian man, walk into a bar with handguns. The three break out into a gun fight and everyone is killed in the cross-fire

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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Why did single women didn't want any babies for? because of Ice Ice Baby.

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A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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Ol-ive

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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y r black people noses so big??? A= god had to hold tem somehere to spray paint them

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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What do watermelons taste like? Sand.

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops