To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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whats the worst kind of homework? child abuse

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Why did the couple stop at the stop sign? Because it's the law.

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

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What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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An elephant walks into a bar. It was so big that it broke a lot of things.

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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You ask your friend if they want to hear a joke when they say yes tell them that thought you had a joke

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Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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A man with Tourettes walks into his Daughter's kindergarten classroom. Fortunately, he was able to control himself and refrain from any outbursts of profanity during the visit.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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