Why did the kid have a toy truck? because he bought it

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Whats the difference between a car and a baby? I would have a hard time throwing a car.

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im gey

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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how many high school boys does it take to change a light bulb?? idk the light bulb in my bathroom is out and i need to know how many boys to call over to fix it.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

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I was just entering the toilet in a transport cafe just as a lorry driver was coming out. "I wouldn't go in there mate if I was you" he said "Why does it smell?" I enquired "No I've just murdered a prostitute"

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bologna

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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A man was walking down the street He was then killed in a drive by.

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when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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