The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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HA HA HA HA HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA - Bomber

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Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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What do u call a ginger man with no ears? What ever the hell u want Because he's deaf

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops