what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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knock knock come in !

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What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

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So a man walks into a hospital to see his dying wife..... walks into her room falls over and then dies

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Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

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Q: A black man, A Mexican, And a Asian are in a car. Who Is Driving? A: The Cop.

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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Roses are red Olives are Black come to my and will smoke some crack

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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why did Susie cry? she got pecked in the face by a goose

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

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Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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hashtags suck balls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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