What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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A fat kid walks into a school. RUN KIDS IT'S BOMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

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Guy 1:Whats the difference between a towel and toilet paper? Guy2: I dont know Guy : SO IT WAS YOU!

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

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What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

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Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

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Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops