Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

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a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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