I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit and. the bear eats the rabbit in a whole bite without chewing...end of story...the end

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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mmm i love marble bumhole

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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