Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

Why did the chicken Cross the road? Because a Blackman was chasing his dinner

Why did the police officer decide to eat a donut? Because he was slightly hungry, but a meal seemed too much for him.

What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

What happened when Susie fell off the Ferris Wheel? There was an open seat.

What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

Where did Adolf go as a vacation after the war? Hell

Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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