what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

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People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

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What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

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What do you call a man named Cornelius? Well, he prefers to go by his middle name, Eric, because he was teased as a child for being named Cornelius.

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Me

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Things i like to do when im bored; chase after ostriches take major dumps masturbate give myself major erections EJ

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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123 f*ck off

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Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

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why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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