why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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To mama so old, she might die soon.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

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Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy wuzzy had cancer.

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

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It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops