A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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why are black people so fast? because there black

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What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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Why didn't the boy's parents throw him a birthday party? Because his father is in jail for drug possession and his mother is dead.

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Depends on the situation. In a formal environment you would call him Mr Dalgleish, in an informal one it would be acceptable to call him Kenny, Kenneth or just Ken.

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How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? It depends on how big the room is and, to a lesser extent, how wide the strips of wallpaper are. Also factor in variables such as ambient humidity.

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Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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it was all Tagart

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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