What do a van and a pencil have in common? You can write with both, except with the van.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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why was the black man on the bus? cause he needed to get to work

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

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Q: What did the gun say to the person. A: Bang.

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Why was the little African child sad? He had recently been denied an education only 4 days after witnessing his mother being raped and cut in half by a machete. ....he also had aids. ......and was in Africa.

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One night, a man was bitten by Dracula. The first thing to come out of his mouth was "Joke's on you, I have AIDS!" Then proceeded to laugh hysterically until Dracula snapped his neck

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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A black man, a white man and a Jewish man all live in the same apartment block. Which is most likely to be at work? None of them, it's Sunday. [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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