Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

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There once was the worlds most important people on an airplane. All of them. They were a Boy Scout with a hiking pack, World's Oldest person, World's Smartest person, a Scientist who had the cure to cancer, and the World's Richest man. The Pilot told them that the plane was running out of gas and they would have to bail. But there was a problem, two people were going to have to die. They were only two parachutes short. So the Scientist grabbed one and said, "I'm the only one with the cure to cancer I've got lives to save." And he bails. Then the World's oldest person jumps out with a parachute saying, "I Still Have A Life To Live!!!" Then the Richest person realizes there is two parachutes left. He says, "I have the most money so I have to go because I could save America from going bankrupt." Grabs a chute and jumps. Then, the world's smartest person just happens to be so selfish and bails with the last Parachute. So the Pilot and and the Boy Scout were left. The pilot was kind enough to let the Kid go because he still had he longest life to live. But the kid said no, we could both go. The pilot said no you go. The kid was still being stubborn. And said No, we could both go, The world's smartest person took my back pack, there is one chute left, we could share it. And so they both jumped and landed safely on the ground. And that was the end of the World's smartest man.

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

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a cop wrote most of these anti-jokes O.o

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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what do you call 3 mexicans in the back of a car? Carpooling to work to save on gas.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do you call a black stormtrooper. What ever his name happens to be.

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How do you shock a child? Attach a metal pole to them while there is a storm

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Why did the blonde kid that was really gay He got a bad case of HIV

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The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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mikey is cute

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What's the difference between an egg and a Llama? The'yre both not lamps.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

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Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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A Japanese man, a Canadian man and a French woman walk into a bar. They do not converse because they don't speak the same language.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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