Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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TRICERATOPS!

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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