do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? like most animals that wander onto the road, it was completely unaware that the road can be very dangerous. It didn't go onto the road on purpose, it simply treated the road as if it was just like the rest of the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead of getting hit by the plane because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and ever since he was 8 years old he has wanted to die with his body completely attached.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than the holocaust? The holocaust was one of the most terrible incidents in history there are very few things worse than.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops