Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

xCh3wyy is the biggest fail in the entire universe. If you head to www.youtube.com/xxch3wyyxx You will see how much he fails. Please dislike his horrible video and tell him to suck a prick.

Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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