Knock knock! Who's there? Alexis. Hi, come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

XD Okay then, just a little and I am not very fond of it, I mean I tried something called tekken but that just made me nauseus. Then I got into some car racing game years ago, RidgeRacer I think, but when I moved the car to the sides, I kinda involuntarily tilted to the sides, and ended up smacking on the ground a couple of times.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the man say to the cat? Nothing. He doesn't have a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo momma is so fat that she is overweight

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops