Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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a irish man walks past a bar

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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I asked her where you were.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

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like if your cool

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All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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Whats two plus two Four!

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A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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What do you call a joke book without a title? A joke book!!!!

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Guess what my nephew said yesterday? oh wait, i forgot hes dead..

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Who's dumb and retarted. A person that is dumb and retarted.

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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why was the boy crying? cause an elephant tusked him up the ass

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What did the red paint say to the blue paint? They said nothing. Paints don't talk and you need to see a doctor if you answered anything else.

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What's worse than holocaust jokes? The Rwandam Genocide.

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What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

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Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

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If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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