Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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I came up with one when my friend Sam told me the fortune from her Jone's Soda. A change of heart may lead to a new living environment, a change of heart may also lead to death.

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

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How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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salad days!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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