How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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My grandpa died in the Holocaust He fell from the guard tower

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

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Why is the chicken afraid of the tiger? Chickens are inferrior to tigers and could easily be eaten.

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Why did the kid have a toy truck? because he bought it

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A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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Why don't men have menstruation? -Because it sucks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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