- Anti Joke

What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

Guess what? I like trains.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money