What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense MICROWAVE

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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What did a blonde and a Puerto Rican name their baby? Joshua, after the blonde's grandfather who passed away a year earlier.

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What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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