- Anti Joke

"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because numbers, like people, are afraid of all things bigger than themselves

Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

So a man walks into a hospital to see his dying wife..... walks into her room falls over and then dies

Tilt your screen back .

knock knock come in !

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

What color do you get when you mix aquamarine with magenta? Transvestite.

How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

whats worse than a leaf in your bed? World hunger, global warming, the economy......

Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

Roses are red Violets are blue I don't know how to rhyme Refrigerator ------------

if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

A White, a Black, and a Hispanic man walk into a bar. They sit down and have a nice conversation, tip their bartender and then leave.

Nazi jokes are not funny. ANNE FRANKly they're mean! See What i did there?

rawrrrrrrrrrrr

The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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