A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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When I became a WoMan, no, its a nice subject, I do not mind at all.

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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Wats blue and always in the sky?? Cheese! Except cheese is not blue and it is not always in the sky... By Rachael Mcmullan

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kathryn atkins

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

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Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops