Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

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what do you call a pie in a roll a roll and pie

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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i had a dream last night;) it was sad because you lived but then i dreamed up a bus and made it hit you. i had a dream last night;) you died

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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the man walk in to the shop and brought a pet nothing

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Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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Roses are red Im adopted

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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What did the mexican do when 3 INS workers came to his house? He showed them his papers and it turns out he was a natural born US citizen. The mexican then proceeded to invite the INS into his home for a cup of coffee but they respectfully declined

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What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops