A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

thumb_up thumb_down +12

That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops