Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops