How do you put elephant in refrigerator? Open the door, and put the elephant in

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

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What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

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DONT think about ELEPHANTS. Your thinking about elephants now.

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A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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A black guy and a white girl are having sex. The white girl screams "I'm pregnant!!!!" The black guy says "i'll help you take care of it" "I love you sweetie and nothing will come between us"

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

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Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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