Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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a irish man walks past a bar

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

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Q-whats worse than getting shot. A-getting shot twice

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar

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A whole 'nother.

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops