A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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roses are red violets are blue corey mills is and got raped by you

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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