A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

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What's worse than a shotgoun to the balls? Nothing.

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

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Who lives in a pineaplle under the sea? Nobody but bacteria that will slowly eat your stomach.

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Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

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Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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Knock knock. Who's there You are.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

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How many people does it take to light a fag? I love BBW porn!!!!

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A black man, a white man and a Mexican walk into a bar. They have a beer, enjoy some pleasant conversation, then go home to their families.

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Getting your balls chopped off by a maniac on LSD.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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