Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

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What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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A woman has sex with an Asian man, then a white man, and then a black man. She chooses to be in a relationship with the black man because he is prepared for the responsibilities of a relationship and the other two men, though both are well endowed, are not ready.

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A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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Why did Anna fall off her bike? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Anna.

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

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Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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