What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Bill: Hey Scott, do you have the time? John: My name is John, you must have mistaken me for someone else. Bill: Oh. I apologize for the inconvenience. John: No problem. By the way, the time is 3:34. Bill: I don't actually need the time, me and Scott just have this inside joke of me asking the time when we both very well know that he refuses to wear a wristwatch. John: Alright

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Doctor: I'm gunna try to fit your illness into an everyday, normal conversation. Is that okay? Patient: okay. Doctor: how are you? Patient: fine... Doctor: that's weird.. Because you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do watermelons taste like? Sand.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. 97

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Yesterday I saw a blind man walking down the street, I asked if he needed help and he said "I'm fine thanks." Later on I saw a deaf man walking down the street and asked if he needed help. He didn't hear me, he then fell off the curb and was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

On a scale of 1 to 10, 6 being the highest how confused are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practise.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what would happen if american army lost their air supprt ? lmao

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

thumb_up thumb_down -16

25

thumb_up thumb_down -16

ask me if im a boy are you a boy? none of your buisness.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -16

JAmie stegman loves making love with his sister... he loves inbreeds so much

thumb_up thumb_down -16

awkies when u see danni white fingering jacob :0;0;0;0, and jamie fingering himself..............

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A deaf man sits down puts on his headphones presses play on his ipod starts to nod his head and realises what he has just done

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops