What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

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what did the British horse say to the man who owned him? nothing all he sad was neigh.

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What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

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steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

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What does the thirsty butcher drink? Chocolate milk. Because he can.

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human centipede

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender New Doritos Dip

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

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Who has, there are like... Well actually I might have watched them all, downloaded them in a torrent... A LEGAL torrent of course... NOT. Well, you get a hint, it looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, and its a trick question since Mickey Mouse was not actually drawn by Disney, so yeah.

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops