How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Dogs don't have thumbs.

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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One, two, three, four and five

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

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how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?................ we dont know because u cant c them

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What's red and sweet and good to eat? A riddle that rhymes.

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Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

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What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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