A guy asks his girl friend to marry him and she says yes, so he buys her a new car - a Lamborghini Countach - she loves this car and she goes everywhere in it. One day, she picks up her kids from school. She's got a boy and a girl. As she's driving down the road, a car pulls up in front of her and they have a really nasty accident and she falls into a coma. When she wakes up from the coma there is a doctor next to her and she quickly asks doctor, "Where is my son? He was really good at football, he could have played for England and been better than Beckham." The doctor replies, "I'm so sorry, in the accident he lost his leg he won't be able to kick a football any more." The woman asks about her daughter. "Doctor, where is my daughter? She was really good at tennis and she could have been the best in the world and won at Wimbledon." The doctor says, "Sorry but in the accident she lost her arms and she won't be able to pick up a racket any more." She begins to cry. "Doctor," asks the woman, "how long have I been in this coma?" The doctor replies, "Six months." "So what's the date?" asks the woman. "April 1st," says the doctor. The woman begins to laugh "So you were joking then, were you?" Doctor: "YES... they had minor breaks and cuts but both have made full recoveries. I'll get them and your fiancé down here straight away." The woman is relieved and is discharged three days later to continue recuperating at home, while the doctor is sent to a tribunal for tricking her into believing her children had been maimed and eventually accepts early retirement with a generous severance package.

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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justin bieber is a good singer april fools haha you thought hell had frozen over

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Jacob loves stroking his gf's doodle every lunch break. He was embarrased cause it was bigger than his.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm ovulating

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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wommmoaooammaaa

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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whats worse than killing someone? finding out your mom is your dad

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How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Sarah Jessica Parker

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what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

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so i was F***in this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was F***in this girl and i jizzed

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what kind of mexicans are NOT in the U.S. -legal

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Why was 9 afraid of 10 because 10 was a registered sex offender

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Why did the woman accuse a black man of stealing from a bank? Because she was eating a cornmuffin on the bench across the street when she saw a black man,stealing money from a bank

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q: How many children did it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The light bulb was already screwed in and exploded after excessive tampering

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WILLYS

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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