Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

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What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

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Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

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Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was very scary.

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Wanna here a funny joke? Will is straight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hes gay

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What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops