Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

There's a black guy in a house. What's he doing there? He owns it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase the farmer has recently gone blind due to old age and he acidently left the gate opened and the chicken happened to walk out

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops