I'm not gay (phrase) - A phrase commonly used by straight men.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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Why didn't the boy's parents throw him a birthday party? Because his father is in jail for drug possession and his mother is dead.

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Depends on the situation. In a formal environment you would call him Mr Dalgleish, in an informal one it would be acceptable to call him Kenny, Kenneth or just Ken.

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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it was all Tagart

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Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

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How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? It depends on how big the room is and, to a lesser extent, how wide the strips of wallpaper are. Also factor in variables such as ambient humidity.

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What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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why are black people so fast? because there black

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops