How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's in there? Get outta there...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two Mexicans walk into a police station... they don't come out!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man sat down Then he stood up

thumb_up thumb_down -9

We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

thumb_up thumb_down -9

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the unintelligent sports jock say to the band geek. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? who cares even if they could screw it in it wouldnt work because there to poor to aford electricity

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A baby seal walks in to a club

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's red and silly? A blood clot

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops