how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

what do you call a man with one leg? whatever his name is.

What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

Q: Suzy loves apples she will o anything to get her hands on an apple. A: You guys are so gullible!!! She DID eat Tom's apple. ...... then he killed her.

Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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