What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

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Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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What did the rabbi say to the bartender? Hi, Mark!

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari. There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

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Jackie Chan walks into a bar.

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

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What are Antijokes? type of comedy typical joke setup anticlimax that it lack of punchline.

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Q:Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because he lost all of his tongue due to the chemicals of cigarettes.

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Q- what the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A- The Wheelchair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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