What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A Jew and a German meet by chance in a bar. They exchange pleasantries and order drinks. At the end of the evening they leave, having made a friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Things i love to hate: Conspiracy theorists Religious fundamentalists Hypocritical people Sally (she has no arms) People selling pyramid schemes Liars, con-artists, thieves. Rapists, child molesters, serial killers Terrorists, politicians, and keyboard warriors That is all.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Suck pussy

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's similar about a black person and a white person? They're both black, apart from the white person

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did Helen Keller name her dog? A. Spot

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops