Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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q; whats small and high pitched a; rory johnston

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It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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