Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

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why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

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why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Betty. Answer the door!

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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Why do people waste there time writing Anti-Jokes Becuase they enjoy there right to the 1st ammendment and who are we to question it

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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woman's rights

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops