Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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Q) Why did the Koala fall out of the tree A) Because it was dead!

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Rachel: Wanna hear a conundrum? Robby: Sure! Racheal: Vampire Value card.

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If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

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What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

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Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

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Jesus saves, passes to Moses who shoots and scores!!!

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Why did Hitler hate Jews? Because he use to get bulied by them when he was in high school.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? What did the black guy say o the white guy

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you go into the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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What does a gay horse eat? Other gay horses.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

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A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

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Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

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mmm i love marble bumhole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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