There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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