Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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