A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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9/11

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have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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No it doesnt..

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What did the Banana say to the Peach. Nothing, they are incapable of speaking because they are fruit.

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What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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What did the Asian store clerk say to the midget? yay penis

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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An arab says allahu akbar, people respect him as he is pronouncing his religion in his place of worship

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no

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I dont usually get jokes, but when i do I get them.

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Q: Why was the little girl upset? A: Because she drank a window cleanser, causing her vital organs to shut down, ending in a slow, painful, death.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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